Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
