I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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