Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
