the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
