Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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