I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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