Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just want to make out with him forever
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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