I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
