why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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