I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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