Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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