i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
