I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
