i will never coherently bang her
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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