He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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