Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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