Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
