i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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