This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
