I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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