Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Fuck appropriateness.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
