Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
