Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
