This is not my ceiling
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
