Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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