Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
