I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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