glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she pinky promised me she was 18
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
