and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
