The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i drank out of a bidet.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
