Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
