Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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