ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
