I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
