Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
