Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
