erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
