3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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