If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
