Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
