I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
