So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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