i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
time to smoke my breakfast
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
