I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
