we're blogging at a bar
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
