I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
