Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
