And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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