are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
