He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
