You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
should my penis look like a turkey
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
